Why I’ve Chosen Not to Date in High School

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air for those in dating or marriage relationships.

Maybe some of you are wondering if that special someone has some wonderful date planned for you. Or maybe you’re the girl who’s dreaming that your crush will finally tell you how much he likes you.

Whatever the case, Valentine’s Day has most people thinking about chocolates and the sweet sensation of romance.

Since February 14 is just around the corner, I thought it’d be appropriate for me to write an article on love and relationships.

As I’ve gotten older, people have asked me my thoughts on dating and I’ve gladly told them what I think. However, I don’t always have the time to go into detail on why I have those thoughts.

So, right now, I want to take the time to share with all of you why I have chosen not to date in high school.
    1. I don’t see much of a point

In all honesty, I haven’t found a good reason to pursue a dating relationship at the high school ages (roughly 14-18 years of age).

If you’re not ready to consider marriage or even a committed relationship (both to each other and to God), then why  get involved in romantic relationships which will most likely end with heartache?

A lot of girls, who may not even realize it, are simply in love with the idea of being in love.

You see, many girls are in relationships either because it gives them a sense of belonging. Some because they think that having a boyfriend will somehow complete them. Neither of these are the right reasons for dating someone.

We can just as easily have fun with friends as we can with a boyfriend and, even though our culture may tell us that having a boyfriend will make us happier, it’s a lie.

God is the only one who can truly complete us. If we are only in relationships because of how it makes us feel, then we will be disappointed every time. It won’t be long before the flame goes out and we move on to someone else.

     2. Too much drama

By choosing not to date right now, I am simply eliminating the possibility of getting my heart broken and potentially breaking someone else’s.

Do you ever feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster? One minute you’re happy and content and the next minute you’re a mess, wondering what went wrong. This is especially common in teens because our hormones are still stabilizing and we aren’t fully matured yet.

Since many high school relationships are driven by emotion, it’s not unusual to see couples dating on and off.  One week they have an argument and decide to break up, only to be back together again in a few days.

Why fill your life with the drama of who-likes-who and how so-and-so got back together, when you could be doing so much more to point others to Christ?

I’m not saying I’ve never liked a guy. I notice them, just like you! However, I’ve chosen not to act on those feelings because I know for fact that, right now at the age of 16, I’m not able to fully consider a long-term committed relationship.

Instead, I’ve decided to count my single years as a blessing! I can use these years to grow in God and point others to Him instead of worrying about who to go out with.

    3. I’m waiting in God’s timing

Girls, I know that what I’m saying isn’t the normal view teen girls have on dating. However, I’ve found it so much more satisfying and fulfilling to place my future husband in God’s hands and wait in His timing than to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons.

Think of all the things you might miss out on because you’re focusing on a short-term, high school romance. Instead of looking for opportunities to grow in God’s love, you might become blinded by the exhilaration of having a boyfriend.

If it’s God’s plan that you get married, than I can guarantee you that, someday, a young man will come into your life. When the time is right, you two can have a beautiful relationship that, instead of distracting you from Him, will turn your eyes towards God.

I do want to point out that some of you may actually meet your future husband in high school. Even if I meet (or have already met) my future husband, he will still be there when the right time comes. God really does have a plan! If we meet someone who is the right guy for us, then God will make a way for it to happen, in His time.

In the meantime, I encourage you to think about why I have chosen not to date in high school.
For the single girls:

I’m guessing that quite a few of you want to meet a nice guy and get married someday, right?

Instead of worrying about when God will lead you to the right guy, trust His timing and look for ways to view your single years as a blessing!

For the girlfriends:

Take a minute to evaluate your relationship.

Is it taking time away from growing your relationship with God?

What is the real reason that your in your relationship?

For all you high school girls out there:

February 14 is all about love, right?

As Valentine’s Day rolls around, I encourage you to choose to think about God’s unfailing love for you and ways to share it with others.

  • Francine Vassell

    This is so encouraging. Thispost really speaks volume. I really felt like I was the only one who felt this way. For me, I did not see the point of dating in highschool either because for me I was in no way shape or form mindset ready for marriage. Most highschoolers have not matured enough to know what love truly is, how to be responsible or learn how to take care of themselves first before commiting to someone else.

    You made a great point that there was too drama which can have negative side effects as well.

    Personally, I wanted to focus more on developing myself so that I can better prepare for my husband. Highschool relationships also in my view in these times did not look healthy, 90% of the time I saw my classmates chasing men emotionally with no thought of the after affects, then heartbreak set in and sometimes resentment and friendships torn apart 🙁 . I went as far as not even wanting to date in college which is probably rare among some. To this day, I have chosen to focus on using my time well being single. We have the advantage of helping just as much and being encouraging to others.

    I love your point on waiting on God’s timing because in whatever job we have, situations we face, relationship, etc, God knows at what time we need to deal with them, we need to continue to work toward serving him in humility. I continue to wait patiently to be married but in the meantime as try to be a servant to others.

    I know you’ll be a wonderful and faithful wife someday. I will pray for your sucess in God. 🙂