The guys in your life have intrinsic value. Not only them, but so do you! Because we were all created in God’s image, the way we communicate with each other is a big deal!
The young men in our lives have intrinsic value apart from us and anything we can give them.
In part 1 of “Communicating with Guys”, we went over the first 3 out of 5 tips of communication. To make them memorable, we put them together in the acrostic WORTH.
1. What’s the Point?
2. Open Accountability
3. Respect Boundaries
Let’s dive right into tips 4 and 5!
This one is huge! The more time we spend with someone, the closer we become. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with spending time with guys (unless there is a good reason I shouldn’t be around a particular guy). What I believe we need to pay more attention to is how we’re spending our time with them.
Is it in group settings?
Are we often alone, just the two of us?
Are we using that time to form an unhealthy emotional bond?
Are we representing Christ in what we do during that time?
Do other people know where we are?
Am I spending too much time with him? (remember that it’s extremely easy to become super close and intimate with someone if we’re together all the time and sharing personal details. This is definitely someone to watch out for.)
There’s nothing wrong with spending time with guys! Just be careful and look out for these things. Again, asking yourself what the point or motive is is helpful in evaluating your time spent with guys.
5. Healthy Conversation
Face it. Conversations have plot twists. We could be talking about one thing and, 5 minutes later, we’re in a deep discussion about something completely different.
As Christians, we reflect Christ and His love. That doesn’t mean we’re perfect (I’ve had my share of mistakes). However, what’s important to Christ should be important to us.
What we talk about reflects what’s in our hearts.
If we’re gossiping about someone, chances are, we’ll be gossiping about that guy at some point too (which shows that we believe that person or that guy has intrinsic value in Christ).
If we spend time complaining about everything, it shows how discontent and unhappy we are. If we start hinting at sexual conversation, it shows that we’re only in the relationship for sexual fulfillment (which neither reflects Christ or respects the fact that the guy has worth apart from us).
The best conversations take place when we’re intentional with our words.
Instead of spending time talking about things that will either bring you both down or get you into trouble, try talking about your interests, what God is doing in your life, how you became a Christian, what your goals are, etc.
Ask questions! Find out what your guy friends care about. Ask how they see God in their lives. Encourage them to be a leader. Ask if they have anything they’d like to pray for and pray for them!
Healthy communication with guys is possible for us girls!
Take a look at the way you communicate with guys. What message are you sending? Are you pointing them toward Christ and His love with the way you talk and act?
Challenge: Write down the acrostic WORTH and put it somewhere you can see it. Remember that the guys in your life have value and are loved and adored by God Himself.
What’s the Point?